Unamused Muse (Mt. Olympus Employment Agency: Muse Book 2) Read online

  I squinted in the early morning sun. “What?” I didn’t even care that I was barely covered in a tank top and underwear.

  At least I’d done laundry.

  Mark stood in the courtyard grinning and carrying a drink holder with two cups in it and a box of what appeared to be—and smelled like—donuts. “Morning, Princess Grumpy Face. I come bearing precious gifts.”

  I eyed him for a minute trying to interpret what was going on. Cute guy. Coffee. Donuts. Half naked Wynter. My sleep-fogged brain finally cleared, and my eyes widened, despite the glaring sun. “Mark! Oh, no. Hang on.” I slammed the door in his face and ran for my bedroom.

  A minute later, having fluffed the dent out of my hair as well as I could and covered in my lavender kimono robe, I returned to the kitchen to let him in.

  “I’m so sorry,” I said, stepping aside. “I take a few minutes to wake up.” My ears felt hot. Friends or not, I wasn’t prepared to prance around in front of Mark in my underwear. We hadn’t known each other that long.

  His grin never slipped. “Oh, I think you did really well.” He placed the box on the counter and handed me a cup. “If it had been me, I would have slept through the pounding on the door and missed out on a chocolate éclair.”

  I nudged the top of the box open and peered inside. “What is this, two dozen donuts? You don’t think we can eat this much between us, do you?”

  His eyes twinkled over his cup as he took a sip. “We can try. I thought we could watch cartoons while we do it.”

  Why was this guy still single?

  I pointed at his jeans. “You’re not dressed for this.”

  He chuckled. “You want me to put my pajamas back on?”

  “You’re the one who barged in on the day I was going to spend vegging out on the couch. I appreciate the donuts and coffee, but if you’re going to join me, you have to dress the part.”

  He took another sip, then set his cup on the counter and shook a finger at me. “Don’t eat any of those donuts until I get back.”

  “Don’t take too long, then.” I winked, grabbed the box, and took it into the living room. The door closed behind him a second later.

  “You are not sitting around like that all day with him, Wynter.” Phyllis’s voice was stern and matronly.

  “It’s what I had planned anyway. I’m not getting dressed until I have to, no matter what you say.”

  “Honey.” Her voice was softer. “I’m just saying, put on some pants. You’re never going to be comfortable in that short robe.”

  “Oh.” I glanced at my bare legs. The kimono barely hit me mid-thigh. She was right. To really lounge with a guy in the house, I needed to rethink this.

  By the time Mark came back, I was on the couch with the television on, feet propped up, and wearing pink Minnie Mouse pajama pants with my yellow tank top. My coffee was in one hand, and I held a frosted donut with sprinkles in the other.

  “I told you not to eat them without me!” He faked a shocked expression. “How can I ever trust you again?”

  I took a huge bite, looking him in the eye while I did it. I chewed slowly, then swallowed. “Why would you ever think I could be trusted? These are my donuts, now.” I stuffed another huge bite into my mouth.

  He shook his head and grabbed one of the paper towels I’d set out. “I’m devastated. I don’t know if I’ll be able to relax today, now. And I was so looking forward to it.”

  I shrugged. “Next time, you’ll know better than to fall for the old ‘Go put on your pajamas while I watch the donuts’ gag. Sucker.”

  He looked adorable. He’d kept the Superman T-shirt he’d been wearing, but had swapped his jeans for a pair of Batman pajama pants. As he leaned over to grab a donut, his hair fell forward and covered his eyes. He did a little flip of his head to push it aside.

  “What are we watching?” He dropped next to me on the sofa.

  “Whatever your heart desires.” The sugar had hit my bloodstream, and I was a little buzzed. I grinned. “I have all day.”

  ~*~

  My day of doing nothing with Mark was the best day I’d had in months. Turned out, doing nothing was a pretty sweet gig when shared with an equally unmoving slug. Worries about my mother’s mental health, where her friend Terry had come from, who my father was, and whether I would make it through another four weeks of living and working in the Underworld melted away.

  We watched Looney Tunes, Batman, Teen Titans, and Rugrats all morning. Then Mark ran next door and grabbed his Xbox while I ordered Chinese food for lunch. For the next few hours, we blew things up until my hands started to cramp.

  Around three, I reluctantly put down the controller and stretched. “This was a good day.”

  He frowned. “But?”

  “But I have to get packed and ready to go. I promised to have dinner with some coworkers, then I have to be back in the dorm tonight.”

  His frown deepened into a scowl. “I know we joke about this mysterious job of yours, but seriously, are you in trouble? Can I do anything to help?”

  He was so sweet. I’d never had a friend like him before.

  “I’m fine. Really. It’s a temporary assignment. I’ll be back again in two weeks, then two weeks later, I can come home to stay again. Will you keep getting my mail for me?”

  “Of course.” He glanced at Phyllis sitting in the window. “Do you want me to keep your plant for you, too? I don’t mind. You wouldn’t have to lug it around with you.”

  I chuckled. “Thanks. I think she’d be pissed at me if I didn’t keep her with me.”

  He shook his head. “You have the weirdest relationship with your plant.”

  I couldn’t disagree. “That I do.”

  He helped me clear up the debris from our day of doing nothing. Who knew doing nothing could make such a mess?

  After he left, I felt a little sad. Phyllis and I watched him through the window as he crossed the courtyard and went into his own apartment.

  “That boy is crazy about you.” Her voice was soft.

  “So you’ve said. But I like having a friend. I don’t need another ex-boyfriend.”

  “Fair enough. I’m tempted to stay with him for a couple of weeks. Might be interesting to see how he lives when he thinks nobody’s watching.” She shivered her leaves, as if shaking off the thought. “But I couldn’t possibly leave you alone for that long. You’re a disaster.”

  “I am not.” I couldn’t muster the offensive tone to make my statement believable.

  “You’re not even packed or showered. And we have to leave in forty-five minutes.”

  I glanced at the clock on the wall. “Shit.”

  Phyllis chuckled as I bolted out of the room to the bathroom. “See? A disaster.”

  It was a damn good thing I’d already done my laundry. After I was showered, dressed, and presentable, I ran around my bedroom folding my clean clothes and placing them in the duffel bag. I hadn’t stuffed it full when I’d packed to go home, so I had plenty of room to add things.

  I didn’t particularly want to date, but everyone down there seemed to think I needed to. And really, what else was there to do? So, I added a few skirts and dresses appropriate for activities ranging from another disastrous wedding to a concert. A pair of sandals, red pumps, and a small clutch made their way into the bag, too.

  It was a tight squeeze. The zipper fought me, but I got the bag closed. While I struggled, the bookcase in the corner of my room caught my eye. I wandered over, perusing the books lined up with their friendly spines inviting me to dive into other worlds.

  I’d nearly forgotten about Hecate’s assignment. The next book club book was my choice.

  The novel they’d been reading was on the second shelf. It was an Oprah recommendation, so everybody who read anything had a copy, including me. I’d forgotten all about it, since I’d only made it through three chapters before putting it down. It was a book about shoes and angst and mother-daughter relationships and finding the perfect man.

 
Not my kind of thing.

  I ran a finger down the line of books, looking for ideas. I leaned more toward mysteries, but also read some romance, a little fantasy, and quite a bit of horror.

  My finger stopped on a black spine with yellow letters, and I pulled the book from the shelf. Palindrome Falls was written in large font, and two yellow eyes stared out from a darkened wood. The book had terrified me and kept me up all night.

  It was part of the reason I’d quit the veterinarian’s office. I couldn’t look at a dog or a cat the same for a long time. Especially cats.

  I smiled. It was perfect. The Underworld ladies were bored. They didn’t want angst and introspection. They wanted something scary. I was sure of it. This was the answer.

  Thinking about the book club reminded me of my stolen bottle of Transmutational Thought Bubbles. I couldn’t have used them on the goddesses in the book club without serious repercussions. They’d have known what I was up to. But not everyone would.

  In another month, I’d be back in the Muse department doing my real job—which I wasn’t entirely good at. At least, not doing it their way.

  But that could be remedied. My time in the Underworld didn’t have to be time wasted. I could be stealthy, even without my Muse-issued invisibility belt. If I practiced on my own, maybe I could get good before I had to go back.

  I dug around in my closet and pulled out a bag of bubble paraphernalia I’d purchased from a toy store in Topeka. Inside nestled several shapes and sizes of plastic bubble wands. I chose a pink one with a heart-shaped hole and put away the bag. The golden wand I’d used from the Muse department was attached to my invisibility belt and was hanging on the wall in the supply room of the Muse office. Fingers crossed, the plastic wand would work equally well.

  I unzipped the bag and tucked the book and wand inside.

  The next four weeks were going to be interesting.

  ~*~

  I was a few minutes late getting to Hal’s house. Everyone else was already there.

  Jillian bounced out the front door and greeted me at the driveway, her red curls shining in the fading sunlight. “You’re here! How’s the Underworld?” She threw her arms around me and gave me a huge hug. “I’m so glad they gave you the weekend off. You have to tell me everything!”

  Rather than drain me or wear me out, Jilly’s energy always seemed to give me a boost to my own energy levels. We’d been in orientation together at Mt. Olympus, along with Hal and Elmore, who stood in the doorway waiting for us.

  “There isn’t much to tell.” I grinned and hugged her back. “I’m an office drone. The people are nice. The place is kind of weird, but not what you’d expect.” We strolled up the walkway to the house. “I’m looking forward to being done with it and going back to being a Muse. How about you? Do you like the Furies department?”

  She nodded. “It’s good. I like the variety.”

  Elmore stepped back and gave us room to come in when we reached the door. He gave me a quiet smile and half wave. “Hey.” He looked like he wasn’t a big hugger and didn’t know what to do.

  I hugged him anyway.

  His smile was bigger after the hug. “Hey.” Elmore was a man of few words.

  “Hi.” I grinned at him.

  Elmore was the youngest of the group, maybe nineteen, if that. He was lanky and awkward, as if he hadn’t yet grown into his limbs—though he did his best to fill out his skinny physique. I’d never seen anyone eat so much, especially when the food was questionable cafeteria fare the rest of us couldn’t stomach.

  He brushed his black hair from his face and narrowed his dark-chocolate, almond-shaped eyes. “You going back to the Underworld or coming home?”

  My smile faded. “This is just a visit. I still have four more weeks.”

  He nodded. “Cool. New experience and all that.”

  “Yeah. That’s true.”

  “You’re here!” Hal rushed into the room and hugged me. “Wynter, I’d like you to meet my wife, Carol.” He stepped aside, revealing a small woman with huge hazel eyes, round, pink cheeks, and thick blonde hair that hung in a loose braid over one shoulder.

  She stood for a moment regarding me, head tilted to the side, then moved in for a hug as big and enthusiastic as anything her husband gave. “Welcome, Wynter. I’m so glad to finally meet you.”

  I hugged her back, but not as tightly. For all her strength, she was a tiny thing, and I felt like a galumphing giant next to her. When she let go and stood next to her husband, she looked even smaller.

  Dinner was wonderful. I hadn’t realized how lonely I’d been over the last two weeks. I’d enjoyed my time relaxing and hanging out with Mark, but this was a different sort of socializing I hadn’t known I was missing until I had it.

  More than once, I sat at the table watching, rather than participating, detached and observing the flurry around me. Elmore shoveled mashed potatoes and corn into his mouth like a machine, occasionally coming up for air to answer a question.

  Jilly passed him the rolls before he could ask, never pausing in the story she was telling about a client whose beard caught on fire as punishment for having burned down his neighbor’s barn.

  Hal laughed while cutting his steak and offering advice about car insurance.

  Carol refilled everyone’s water glasses, an amused smile on her face.

  A gentle peace washed over me, and affection for all of these people filled me and warmed my insides. I could take anything the Underworld threw at me if I had these people at my back. Everything was going to be okay.

  Carol touched my shoulder. “Are you alright? Can I get you anything?”

  I shook my head. “You’ve already given me everything I needed. Thank you.”

  Her gentle smile warmed me further. “I’m happy you came. Hal thinks the world of you, and he’s never wrong about people.”

  When it was time to go, my heart was heavy, but my load was lighter.

  “Call me when you can.” Jilly kissed my cheek. “We’ll hit the clubs again to celebrate when you’re done in the Underworld.”

  “It’s a deal.” Going out with Jilly had been terrifying, but probably the most fun I’d ever had. I now believed everyone should have a friend who pushed her out of her comfort zone.

  Elmore leaned against the wall, ankles crossed, watching. “I’m going too, right?”

  Jilly grabbed him in a goodbye hug. “Of course. We can’t go without you. You know all the shortcuts.”

  I hadn’t considered that, but she was probably right. Elmore worked in the Messenger department, delivering the gods only knew what, while wearing magical winged sneakers. He probably knew all the secret places. Placing a guy who didn’t talk much in that department was genius.

  “Thanks for coming.” Carol took me aside and wove her fingers through mine. “I know you were instrumental in getting Hal through orientation. I want to thank you. It’s been wonderful having my husband back the way he was years ago. I’m grateful.”

  I smiled back. I’d done so much smiling that night, my cheeks were sore. “Thanks for sharing him with us. He’s a good guy.”

  She winked. “That he is.”

  Elmore and Jilly left together in her car, since Elmore didn’t have his driver's license yet. Hal and I took separate cars so he could go back home after he took me down through the elevator.

  Neither of my dorm mates poked their heads out their doors to welcome me back. After all the companionship back home, the Underworld was noticeably lonely. I let myself into my room and set Phyllis on the table under her grow light.

  “Two weeks down.” I tested her soil and added a little water from the glass I kept for her.

  Phyllis sighed. “Only four more to go.”

  I rubbed a smudge of dirt from one of her leaves. “Thanks for staying with me through this. I don’t know if I could hack it alone.”

  She reached out a branch to stroke the back of my hand. “You’re doing fine, sweetheart. Your future is going to be fantastic. I
promise.”

  I dropped my clothes in a pile on the floor, climbed into bed, and shut off the light. “I sure hope you’re right.”

  Chapter 11

  First thing Monday morning, Parker sent me off with the gate code. “You’ll be okay? Do you need directions?”

  “You’re kidding, right?” I gave him a look like he was crazy.

  “Kidding.” He grinned. “I’m sending you early because Mandy’s got a dentist appointment. She’ll show you what to do. You’re going to cover the gate while she’s gone.”

  “Wait…what?” I took the envelope from him. “I can’t run the gate. I’m not trained for that.”

  “She’s going to train you. Don’t worry.” He patted my shoulder. “Take your time coming back. Get some lunch. I’ll see you this afternoon.” He sat behind his desk and waved goodbye with a cheery smile.

  On my way to the ferry, I patted my pocket where I’d hidden my bottle of ill-gotten magic bubbles, now with a heart-shaped wand bobbing around inside. This could be my chance to practice. As far as I’d seen at the guardhouse, nobody was ever around other than Mandy and the incoming souls.

  And the dogs, of course. I couldn’t possibly forget about the dogs.

  I parked the cart and plugged it in at the ferry dock, then waited for the boat to arrive. When it zipped in, someone I’d never seen before was driving. Unlike Hal, who wore khakis and a collared shirt, this man was in the traditional ferryman garb of a dark, hooded robe. I couldn’t see his eyes.

  A load of newly dead folks climbed out of the boat and followed a tour guide across the road. As they walked away, they faded and disappeared.

  When the boat was empty except for the driver, I climbed in. “Hey.” I stuck my hand out. “I’m Wynter. Where’s Hal?”

  The stranger glanced at my hand, then at my face. His eyes shown red from beneath the hood. “He’s working in the office today. ID?” The voice was gravelly and ominous.

  I let him scan my badge and settled onto a bench. The hairs on the back of my neck stood up, feeling like little pinpricks. Having this guy at my back was not comfortable.